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[30 Apr 2005|01:15pm] |
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Good Bye Pretend_2b_mad but time to take it up a notch!
Add
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) squeek__
and
Comment
I'll add ya
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[25 Apr 2005|07:11pm] |
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To those who cheered me up and were there when I was down.. thank you!
7 more days until my BDAY
but im excited for saturday .. I miss certain people : (
Much love!
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[23 Apr 2005|08:25pm] |
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Ok it has been a while; and maybe it isn't good that i'm back. Please don't take this seriously im just sad because im bored like the rest of the highschool population. For the longest time I felt so happy and I guess it would be normal to say that im having a little down time. *shrugs* I have my rights. At this point I guess you could say I'm scared that things have gotten to a point in my happiness and now they are just going to go the other way. I guess I need to remember the only reason I was happy in the first place was because I made myself that way. I have no reason to panic or be depressed. I still have Rob, he is wonderful to me. I dont see them as often as I would like or maybe at all this year but I know my real friends are out there. I have food. I have water. I have feet and hands with 20 fingers and toes (together that is) and I have a place to live... Yet I feel real shitty as I write this. Not depressed or sad just empty and blah. I worry way too much. And sometimes not enough. My term paper remains half done and due on monday and here I am writing about how bad I feel. Maybe I just needed a chance to let it all out. I decided im not going to check spelling on this I want you to see how pathetic I am right now as if you were standing next to me. I dont want to hear aww amanda you will be ok I want to hear someone say lets get out of here this house is aweful. I want to hear that I will be safe from one of the scariest things that could happen to a girl as young as I. I want to hear that c's are not evil. I got A's for the first time in my life and honestly... it felt no different. Now people just want to see As more often. Heh I want to scream out to them and say the truth.. the reason I got As was because I dropped into lower classes. I miss laughing it feels like a long time since I had a really good laugh I want to not care I want to love him and not worry. I am greedy I want so many things.. .wow this feels really good for some reason letting this all out. I just sneezed and my glasses fell off motherF'ers! I got a new pair... I cant wait to recieve them... it will be like christmas or my birthday.... wait 10 days? it will be my birtday. My sixteenth. OI maybe im going through a mid teen crisis? I got a fish today? His name is buddah. I want to call rob to tell him but I feel rob doesnt enjoy talking to me on the phone I think he just likes me in person. I would never sink as low to saying he doesnt like me. No I just dont feel that it has been almost 5 months now and I am positive things are just fine. I sort of miss him. I want to hug him so much and just laugh laugh all this pointless bullshit off. That is why I dated him in the first place. He made me laugh like no other man has made me laugh before. I felt fresh and new, and I would do anything to feel that again. It has been a couple days since I have felt that. Yes only days not months or years but days. I am a creature of habbit you dont walk the dog then the dog gets sad. God I hope you poor people dont read this ... its more for my benefit then anything just to type on and on get all this crappyness out of me. I wont go slit my wrist. I wont go listen to the saddest song and cry. I will end this by doing something I do normally or go take a look at my new fish again... I love buddah! (name of fish) I should paint or soemthign or maybe better yet write my paper that sounds dandy. I think I feel better it is funny how this works! Well I hope I see rob so he can make me laugh,, I love him for that (and of course once we started dating I found billions of other things that I love about the boy) I hope I have a good bday. I need to put effort into being happy and it will be. I love you alllllll and comment anything if you read this ... I want to know how you people are!
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[22 Mar 2005|08:11pm] |
I have a lot to get done, This time of year is always busy for me and I think I need some time to get things settled. So this means I may not post for a little while so here is a picture of me looking like Im in an old scary Movie!
Ok Now you saw that I will tell you the things that are keeping me busy
Getting art portfolio ready for review day
Carrie's Letter (the old one is outdated please be patient my dear. I want to put a lot of well deserved effort into yours my old friend)
School Projects (IAG, Pottery, Creative writing, and English)
Keeping up a relationship (Id never forget my Rob!)
People I will write letters when I can PLEASE by patient. I <3 you all very much I just didnt think that many people would be interested.
Good Bye for a week or so! Leave sweet nothings for when I come back.
<3
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[20 Mar 2005|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 I kinda like this song |
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music |
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311- creatures |
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Ok sarah I hope you see this I dont know how to contact you but it would be cool to see a movie today or something my phone number is 7530502.
I got most of the stuff I wanted to done.
I need to clean my room and type out letters.
Mister says: im awesome
and then there was awesome
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[16 Mar 2005|09:12pm] |
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mood |
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Say Wha? |
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music |
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Teagan and Sara - So Jealous |
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Ok I went in order...
Letters were sent out to Courtney, Karen, and Carly. keep a lookout for them, if by some reason you dont get them in a week or so.. tell me! Carrie I wrote yours now I just need to type it out.. Ill probably do that tonight.
I just got back from Rob's house; we watched House of 1000 corpses (wasn't a fan) and a Truckload of Family guy epidodes! I finally can say I have seen the show!
I need to straighten my weekend out...tomorrow and friday is Rob.. Movie day on saturday...Sarah on sunday? Eeek they need to have more work shops!
Ok I will keep up the letter writing and such... I wont leave anyone out.
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| Senomar |
[11 Mar 2005|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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 Mommy get me a kitten! |
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music |
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Little legs Kicking - Luminati <3 |
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To people who like to recieve/give letters...
I have been writing a lot lately and I though another way to put my writing to a use would be to write letters! If you dont talk to me at least once a week (online does not count) and you would like to be my penpal that would be great! Just comment and we can set this whole deal up!
Other cool things about this:
Spiffy stationary
Pictures
Drawings
and the love of me (Amanda)
<3 <3 <3 <3
I dont care who as long as we dont talk often.. I hope some Lewiston people would be interested *tear* I never see any of you!
p.s. I want a kitten. (not from you but I want my mom to let me have one)
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| our lady peace- somewhere out there |
[09 Mar 2005|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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 This kitty is drunk? |
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music |
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somewhere out there- OLP |
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Bands that I have known for a long time but just started to like:
Our Lady Peace
A perfect Circle
Nine inch nails
Here we go again people! band. Movie. Or magazine/nonfiction book (I dont read novels all that much) tell me all you know FOOLS
I love you guys *squeek*
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[28 Feb 2005|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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Niceness??? Ick! |
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music |
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OLP- superman is dead |
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( many faces of Amanda )
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[16 Feb 2005|09:59pm] |
Update: valentines was dandy!
Thank you! <3
Best I ever had!
Im bored so post your name or something and I will have a surprise for you! I dont know what they are yet but everyone should do it. You know you want to! If you are reading this you WILL post your name. I think all the surprizes will be different though, depends on who you are.
<3once <3twice <3three times a lady!
(tehe I am a strange little girl at times)
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| Happiness, we're all in it together. |
[10 Feb 2005|12:08pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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APC- count bodies like sheep... |
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Sleeping in his cold white apartment
Within the cold grey city
under the cold black sky
Who can you trust?
I love you
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[02 Feb 2005|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 doesnt care what you think |
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music |
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pearl jam- alive |
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Did she tell him to tell her to tell you that I told him I love him?
That's all that matters... Im outa here bitches.
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[19 Jan 2005|04:38pm] |
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Do these even matter anymore
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Who is in there?